In response to part one in this serious, I received some feedback from parents who questioned the premise that public school is the place where a child is socialized. One mother commenting that public school "isn't a means for socialization, that it should be for educational purposes only." So, before I get started with my part two discussion of this topic, let me take a moment and defend my premise that children are socialized at school. First, I believe that children are highly impacted by the socialization they receive at home, but I also believe that education plays a significant role in this process and that it's impossible, not to mention irresponsible, to expect that it won't. For thousands of years education was not seen only as the acquisition of a narrow set of skills but rather a life long process leading to the development of a mature mind and a moral character.
Thomas Jefferson described the purpose of education as one beyond acquiring the basic skills of reading, writing, arithmetic..." and the outlines of geography and history." He explained that the purpose in acquiring skills and knowledge is to improve "by reading" a persons "morals and faculties; To understand his duties to his neighbors and country; To know his rights... and in general to observe with intelligence and faithfulness all the social relations under which he shall be placed." This sounds a lot like socialization to me.
So what is socialization? It is "a term that is used to refer to the lifelong process of inheriting and disseminating norms, customs, and ideologies; providing an individual with the skills and habits necessary for participating within his or her own society. Socialization is thus the means by which social and cultural continuity are attained." Even if you take away the true nature of education, of which socialization is a part, the reality is that schools do view socialization as part of their mission and they are heavily involved in providing it; whether or not we like the way the go about it. Even if we were somehow successful at separating socialization and education in modern schools, not that I believe that is the answer, an education that is merely the training of skill sets would be terribly deficient and would ultimately result in a type of socialization by default; meaning "a child left to [his peers] bringeth [his nation] to shame."
In an ideal world our society would be a place where wholesome social values inculcated at home are nurtured and expanded during a child's education at school. With that critical continuity weakened an increasing number of parents are choosing to educate at home, as to be able to provide a complete education, one that contains healthy socialization. However, these homeschool parents are constantly challenged by friends and strangers who express concern that homeschooled children are not being properly socialized. In this part two perhaps we can shed some light on why more parents have doubts about whether public school is still the best place for a child to establish thinking about 'cultural norms, ideologies, and habits'"?
Just as most parents believe their children are not at risk for sexual abuse at school, most likely parents believe that negative social interactions at school will have a negligible effect on their child. However, I believe the risks are stacking up against that belief.
First off, too many kids today aren't being socialized by vigilant parents. In general, children spend more time with their teachers and peers than their parents. Public school days and years are getting longer, parents are working more, children are eating more of their meals at school and day care. After school kids are either in constant structured activities (sports, dance, music, etc.) or mostly unsupervised in front of media during spare time. Thus the role of parenting is shifting to the shoulders of teachers, however ineffective that is, and that shift has degraded the quality of peer interactions children have at school. This effects all children whether or not their parents are active in their lives.
Secondly, those parents who work hard to create wholesome social environments for their children at home often feel their efforts constantly thwarted by the messages their kids are bombarded with at school and in the media. I believe that most parents are trying very hard to inculcate proper values in their children, and while many are successful, it is taking greater and greater effort to overcome the social environment at school as it disintegrates.
The types of negative social interactions children are exposed to are increasing in number and severity. Of particular concern are the increasing incidents of violence, inappropriate sexual conduct among children at school, crude language, sassy back talk, serious disruptive behavior, and overall disrespect of teachers. All of these are examples of peer related influences. I hear mothers often express their concerns about their kids peers at school. Unlike at home or in the community, a child does not choose the kids in their class, and often has no choice of who they sit next to in class or at lunch. So naturally parents wonder, what is the character of the kids my child is forced to associate with?In a most extreme case that rocked parents nationwide, two Kindergarteners found by their teacher having sex in a school bathroom. I read several social media threads on this story and in general parents defended the teacher who was threatened with loosing her job, realizing immediately that the behavior is more the fault of the parents of these children who were obviously acting out what they were exposed to at home. But here is the problem, as our society looses what were once shared values of morality, trust breaks down. Children are highly influenced by their peers and it is much harder to be certain that those influences will not present danger.
Parents who talk to their kids, particularly middle and high school aged children, know that sexual conduct is increasing among students; from crude sexual speech to sexting and sexually active youth. It is becoming more widely discussed in the media that sexting trends among students are on the rise and at younger ages. An acquaintance of mine uncovered a wide spread sexting scandal at her sons high school, when she found tweets of naked pictures of students on her son's twitter feed. The students were taking naked pictures of themselves on school grounds and tweeting them out to a school wide hash tag. Hundreds of students had viewed the pictures. Even when it doesn't go this far, the sexualization of children is on display in the way students dress and talk, dance and grope; and there sometimes it seems school administrators aren't motivated to clean it up (but that's a discussion for part three in this series).
Another peer social trend that is causing parents great concern, is the increase in bulling and violent attacks among students. One alarming trend that illustrates this are the numerous stories and videos of bulling and criminal behavior on school buses? Dozens of incident reports were released by local news in my state, reports that tell stories of sex, violence and drugs on Maryland school buses in suburban districts, and not just with older kids, one report documents an incident where an elementary school student hit another kid and threatened to shoot her with his dad's gun.
The student behavior on school buses has become truly scary and is an important illustration of student character overall, because character is what comes out when a child feels no one is watching. The Washington Post reported how "school bus drivers described students fighting and kicking each other or throwing bottles, coins and pencils at them. At times, students pitch food, paper and objects out the window at people walking or driving by... drivers said they have found weapons, such as bullets and switchblades, left behind after students get off buses." School bus drivers in Texas protested because student conduct on buses was so bad, they demanded they be shown respect. A utter lack of respect and open rebellion is another part of how kids today are socialized by their peers.
Some of the worst stories that have received national attention and should be a wake up call for how the social environment at schools is deteriorating. It's not isolated to inner city school districts either, an Ohio third grader was violently beaten by 17-year old student on a rural bus. A 10 year old rural Virginia boy was viciously bullied and the video caught physical and verbal abuse that went on for 40 minutes. A bus driver who witnessed a brutal attack of a boy on his bus said he suffers from nightmares after not being able to stop the attack. Before you say, well just don't let your kids ride the bus, might I point out that whether or not your child rides the bus, they may very well be sitting next to one of these violent perps in class?
Violence in the halls at school is also a problem that is escalating in our society. An estimated 16 percent of all high school students in this country have been in one or more physical fights on school property in the course of a year. The worst cases are when it turns deadly, as it has in what seems like a rash of school shootings by mostly disturbed young boys. Overall, school shootings are still rare but they are hitting closer and closer to home for an increasing number of people.
In my life school shootings have hit close to home twice. Once when I was in high school and my sisters friend was shot in the head by a ricochet bullet after a student staring firing a gun at lunch. The second was a schools shooting that took the life of two school administrators at the high school a block from my house. Both of these schools were small town mid-western schools.
These are just some of the stories that make news but I believe there is plenty of reason to be concerned at the general increase in crude and offensive language, disrespect of teachers, general lack of discipline, immodest dress, sexting, and shocking juvenile PDA that is on display in schools throughout the country. All of these things are on the rise, even in "suburban districts," and all of these things are happening at younger and younger ages. Whether or not your child has not been involved in these acts of violence or sexual conduct, they are in danger of being exposed to it, if they haven't already, and exposure has a desensitizing impact on the moral compass of children and youth. So it should be no surprise that so many parents are asking themselves, "Is public school a healthier place to socialize a child?"
The student behavior on school buses has become truly scary and is an important illustration of student character overall, because character is what comes out when a child feels no one is watching. The Washington Post reported how "school bus drivers described students fighting and kicking each other or throwing bottles, coins and pencils at them. At times, students pitch food, paper and objects out the window at people walking or driving by... drivers said they have found weapons, such as bullets and switchblades, left behind after students get off buses." School bus drivers in Texas protested because student conduct on buses was so bad, they demanded they be shown respect. A utter lack of respect and open rebellion is another part of how kids today are socialized by their peers.
Some of the worst stories that have received national attention and should be a wake up call for how the social environment at schools is deteriorating. It's not isolated to inner city school districts either, an Ohio third grader was violently beaten by 17-year old student on a rural bus. A 10 year old rural Virginia boy was viciously bullied and the video caught physical and verbal abuse that went on for 40 minutes. A bus driver who witnessed a brutal attack of a boy on his bus said he suffers from nightmares after not being able to stop the attack. Before you say, well just don't let your kids ride the bus, might I point out that whether or not your child rides the bus, they may very well be sitting next to one of these violent perps in class?
Violence in the halls at school is also a problem that is escalating in our society. An estimated 16 percent of all high school students in this country have been in one or more physical fights on school property in the course of a year. The worst cases are when it turns deadly, as it has in what seems like a rash of school shootings by mostly disturbed young boys. Overall, school shootings are still rare but they are hitting closer and closer to home for an increasing number of people.In my life school shootings have hit close to home twice. Once when I was in high school and my sisters friend was shot in the head by a ricochet bullet after a student staring firing a gun at lunch. The second was a schools shooting that took the life of two school administrators at the high school a block from my house. Both of these schools were small town mid-western schools.
The vicious bullying that has gotten nation wide attention is another concern for most parents. This issue was propelled to national awareness because of astonishing cases like the one that ended when a 12 year old took her own life to end the torture her peers leashed out on her. Parents worry that their child might be next to fall victim to the kind of vicious bullying that can have life long repercussions. Most of us had an encounter with a "mean girl" in school, but now bullying is hitting a new level, in one case a 17-year old girl secretly posted a nude photo of a 15-year-old girl to an Instagram site without her knowledge. Of course these are the worst examples, but sit down in any moms group and strike up a conversation about bullying and you will get an earful. My own son's fifth grade year was made unbearable because of a bully who made it their mission to isolate and ostracize him socially.
These are just some of the stories that make news but I believe there is plenty of reason to be concerned at the general increase in crude and offensive language, disrespect of teachers, general lack of discipline, immodest dress, sexting, and shocking juvenile PDA that is on display in schools throughout the country. All of these things are on the rise, even in "suburban districts," and all of these things are happening at younger and younger ages. Whether or not your child has not been involved in these acts of violence or sexual conduct, they are in danger of being exposed to it, if they haven't already, and exposure has a desensitizing impact on the moral compass of children and youth. So it should be no surprise that so many parents are asking themselves, "Is public school a healthier place to socialize a child?"
Violence:
- Bus Driver suffers from nightmares after not being able to stop a vicious beating caught on his school bus
- School bus drivers in Texas protest because student conduct on buses was so bad, they demanded they be shown respect
- Las Vegas middle school girl viciously attacked at her bus stop
- Ohio third grader violently beat by 17-year old student on a rural bus
- 10 year old Virginia boy was viciously bullied and the video caught physical and verbal abuse that went on for 40 minutes
- Indiana teens were arrested when a cell phone caught a violent bus beating and the video was posted on Facebook
- Many more such reports have ended up in the national press, but we know these only represent a small fraction of incidents yearly
- Middle school boy opens fire on classmates, injuring two
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